Vulvas and Vaginas: What Every Woman Should Know

Here’s the truth: most women grew up learning almost nothing about their vulva or vagina, except maybe how to keep it clean or how to avoid pregnancy or STIs.

But when it comes to how our vulvas actually look, how tissues change through life, what’s normal versus what’s not, or how to care for our sexual health, most women were never given real education.

So let’s start here:

Vulvas come in ALL shapes, sizes, colors, and variations.

There is no ideal. There’s no “normal look.” Long labia, short labia, asymmetry, darker pigment, lighter pigment… ALL of this is simply human anatomy.

And just like the rest of your body, your vulva changes over time. Pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, perimenopause, and menopause can all shift tissue thickness, sensitivity, moisture, and appearance. This is not a problem. This is biology.

Hormonal shifts (especially decreases in estrogen) can naturally lead to more dryness and less natural stretch or glide of the vaginal tissues. That’s why so many women notice more sensitivity with sex postpartum or later in life. It’s not failure, it’s just our bodies changing over time!

We do however realize how frustrating these changes like vaginal dryness can be, especially when it comes to intimacy. We talk to a lot of women who deal with this, so we thought we’d share our pelvic floor PT-approved tips for working with your body, and to improve its moisture.

Tips for Vaginal Dryness

Use a vaginal moisturizer around the vulva opening daily (not just lube during intercourse). We recommend: 

• Fractionated coconut oil (liquid, odor-free)
• Vitamin E oil
• Good Clean Love products (30% off w/ PROVIDER30)

Allow enough time to build up to arousal

• Yes, we mean foreplay!
• Communicate with your partner about what you like. It’s natural for arousal to take time, and require a focus on what brings YOU pleasure. 

Work with a pelvic floor therapist

• Helps improve blood circulation which can help reduce dryness
• Addresses issues like painful with insertion which can increase dryness
• Implement a plan to help improve intimacy with self and partners

And while we’re on the topic — another huge misconception:

You do not need to be “tight” to be healthy.

In fact, most pelvic pain during sex comes from a pelvic floor that’s actually too tight, not weak. So all the “just do more Kegels” messaging misses the mark for a lot of women, and could actually be counterproductive. Relaxation, blood flow, and nervous system practices to help you relax and get into the moment often make more impact than clenching or tightening.

Which brings us to some important truths:

Myth vs. Truth

Your vulva deserves more than shame, fear, or silence. It deserves care.

Pelvic floor physical therapy exists because vaginal comfort, sexual comfort, and pelvic comfort can be improved, and women deserve to know that! So if you’ve ever felt like something about your vulva, your vagina, or your sexual comfort was “off,” you are not broken. You just need more information and the right support.

Pelvic PT can help you reconnect to your body, understand what’s truly normal, reduce discomfort, improve pleasure, and feel empowered in your body… exactly as it is!